201o’s Most Memorable ‘Oopsies’
Probably Shouldn’t Have DONE That…
One of the biggest shockers in celebville of 2010 was when reality television sweetheart, MTV’s The Hills star, Heidi Montag voluntarily butchered her natural looks after undergoing no less than ten surgical procedures.
- Mini brow lift
- Botox in forehead and frown area
- Nose job revision
- Fat injections in cheeks, nasolabial folds and lips
- Chin reduction
- Neck liposuction
- Ears pinned back
- Breast augmentation revision
- Liposuction on waist, hips, outer and inner thighs
- Buttock augmentation
Unfortunately the only word we could think of when the 24 year old revealed her new look in January 2010 was scary.
Yacht Sailing While my Company Spills 200 Million Gallons of Oil into the Ocean
When BP chief Tony Hayward was spotted by photographers on his $270,000 racing yacht at the height of the oil spill disaster, his spokesmen told critics, “He’s spending a few hours with his family at the weekend…I’m sure that everyone would understand that.”
Having a jolly old-time sailing through clear waters while your oil spill causes the death of thousands of marine wildlife and cripples local fishing and tourism industries in the Gulf of Mexico? NOT okay!
You couldn’t have picked a more appropriate activity for your day off Tony?
The White House said the move was one of a “long line of PR gaffes and mistakes” by Mr Hayward.
Greenpeace described the boating trip as “insulting… rubbing salt into the wounds” of those who had been affected by the spill”.
A local fisherman effected by the spill said, “None of us can even go out fishing, and he’s at the yacht races.”
Quit My Job as Editor of French VOGUE
“When everything is good, maybe I think it’s the time to do something else.”
Carine Roitfeld, Former Editor of French VOGUE
NO! When you have a job like ‘editor of Paris VOGUE’, the very coolest of all the VOGUE editions, the kind of job most women would sell their souls for, ya don’t just decide to ‘do something else’! Jobs are hard to come by these days honey!
Reports are circulating that Roitfeld was actually fired from VOGUE because of her alleged rocky relationships with LVMH and Balenciaga. Rumour has it that Roitfeld refused to dedicate an entire issue of advertisements to LVMH brands and had been banned from using Balenciaga in the magazine for allegedly helping MaxMara to copy their designs.
While we’re never one to trust rumours, it does seem like a more plausible explanation for leaving behind one of the most coveted jobs on earth next to being CEO of Facebook.
Not surprisingly Carine says, “she has no plans at all”.
Probably Shouldn’t Have BOUGHT That…
Latest ‘It’ Bag
So you bought that CHANEL bag resembling a bin-liner this year? Or the iconic chain bag? Great! You and every other oil-pumping heiress with a sense of style inspired by the one and only Paris Hilton.
The truly chic invested in no-name, no-brand lipstick carriers this year, swearing by vintage leather shoulder bags and nostalgic one-of-a-kinds….
Should have been taking note from these ladies…
A technology that nobody really asked for.
If you fell for the 3D hype this year, my condolences. If you bought that 3D television, you will have quickly come to the realization that there’s very little 3D TV content available and you grossly overpaid for a premature product.
P.S. You look rediculous in those glasses.
Ed Hardy Clothing
On behalf of the female race, we would like to thank both Ed Hardy and the cast members of Jersey Shore for helping us to be able to identify douchebags at any given time…
Probably Shouldn’t Have SAID That…
Mel’s Meltdown on Tape
“I’ll put you in a f**king rose garden you c**t. You understand that? Because I’m capable of it”.
“You need a f**king bat to the side of the head, alright?”
“You look like a f**king b*tch on heat. And if you get raped by a pack of n****** it’ll be your fault, alright?”
The filthy mouth of Mel Gibson, ladies and gentlemen.
I really tried not to dislike this guy throughout his numerous public scandals because I have been always been a fan of his films. In the end, his inexcusable language used towards the mother of his child, Oksana GrigorievaI led me to realize that I would never be able to look at him on screen in the same way again. I hope for all our benefit, including his, that he just disappears from public life.
‘Bring it On, Snow!’ – Heathrow Airport
Pre-snowgate, this is what Heathrow Airport said in November in a press release, still available on the airport’s website
TITLE: “Heathrow’s Army of Snow Ploughs Stretch their Wings as Snow Bites”
DATE: 29 November 2010
….We won’t rest on our laurels and promise that we’ll be ready, waiting and doing everything we can to make every journey better for our passengers… With an extra half a million pounds invested in equipment this year, Heathrow’s airside department run constant checks of runway and taxiway areas, applying de-icing and of course clearing any snow and debris away…. Heathrow’s snow team has been working for months to ensure the UK’s hub airport will once again be prepared for the onset of winter…. While London may have run out of grit last winter, Heathrow is determined that it doesn’t run out of the highly concentrated de-icing fluid it uses on the runways…Heathrow’s airside operations teams have spent the summer refreshing their training with plans being discussed with airlines, baggage handlers and air traffic control to ensure a coordinated response.
So Heathrow, how did that work out for ya? (Maybe it’s time to take that press release down from the website).
Calling Angelina Jolie a
Chelsea Handler went off on Angelina Jolie during a standup performance in November, calling the actress a f**king homewrecker and worse.
“She can rescue as many babies from as many countries as she wants to. I don’t f**king believe you … she gives interviews, ‘I don’t have a lot of female friends.’ Cause you’re a f**king c**t … you’re a f**king b***h.”
Hmmm, we might all be thinking it, but nobody likes that word. Foul language, foul play Chelsea Handler.
Probably Should Have Tried Harder…
Oh Blackberry, is that the best you can do? Next to the iPhone 4G with its wonderful world of applications and video calling, your second-rate internet browser and dwindling technology made it very difficult for customers to remain loyal. Your Pièce de résistance, Blackberry messenger (BBM) won’t save you forever.
Better try harder next year. And we don’t mean ripping off Apple’s ideas (yes I’m referring to this Blackberry ‘Playbook Tablet‘ – a prime example of ‘too little, too late’).
Sex and the City 2
How do you screw up the cinematic sequel to one of most successful and celebrated shows in television history? Here’s how…
With shockingly BAD fashion…
A plot line where nothing actually happens…
Wierdly futuristic and overly photoshopped promotional campaigns…
An unexpected, underlying theme of Middle Eastern culture-bashing…
Numerous failed rehab stints, drunken relapses and court-ordered appearances– just as we think Lindsay’s about to make a sensational Britney-style comeback, she fails a drug test again.
Then again, we never now what can happen in Hollywood. Maybe she’ll one day become the respected actress she set out to be. Maybe not.
This is Messy Nessy signing off until 2011.
Happy New Year!!!