5 Signs You’re Being Dumped

In I spied... on September 13, 2010 at 4:41 pm

I was clearing out my email when I came across an old Google chat with my ex. As I skimmed through the infinite scroll of conversation, I soon recognised what it was– my attempt at breaking up with him over cyber chat. Yes, how terribly awful of me. So sue me, it was long distance. The  recovered conversation made for uncomfortable reading to say the least and I had to hurl myself away and bury my head in my hands every few lines. There in black and white Arial font, he was pouring his heart out, saying everything a girl could want to hear while I’m throwing back lines like, “I need to focus on my career” and “I don’t think my mother would approve of a long distance relationship” (cringe).

Nobody wants to remind themselves of how we’ve hurt the ones we loved (in the most cowardly of fashions). We do however, as with most crappy situations in life, learn something. As much as I was content to stuff that old conversation into the depths of my Macbook trash and never have to look at it again, I couldn’t stop thinking about it for the entire morning; the language I had used, the vibe I gave off, all those flashing red light warning signals we fail to pick up when we’re being good and dumped ourselves. With a few friends going through the unpleasant situation as we speak, I thought I might take the opportunity to speak from my own personal experience, from both ends of the stick. I’ve come up with five fool-proof warning signs that someone is about to get the boot…

1. “Can’t we just see Where the Wind Takes Us?”

Meaning, I’m hoping the wind will blow me far away from the situation of having to tell you that I just don’t want to be  in any kind of serious relationship with you. Avoiding any situation where he or she might have to express emotion or attachment to you is NOT, I repeat NOT their way of playing hard to get.

2. The Writing is on the Wall

A person who is thinking of ending a relationship will show clues in their handwriting so pay attention to the way they write their texts. For example, if the word “love” changes to “luv”, get out while you still can. They might even start to abbreviate your name– probably some kind of subliminal way of saying that you are becoming less important to them with every letter they knock off.

3. Tick Tock

Keeping you waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Time is a great asset when it comes to communicating something without having to actually say anything. If you find yourself in the situation where you are waiting endlessly by the phone for a response, it’s a pretty good sign that the person’s interest is waning, not to mention it’s a major sign of disrespect on their part. If someone keeps you waiting until the last-minute to confirm plans, there’s a strong chance they’re hoping something better will come along.

4. Emergency Excuse Exit Strategy

Beware of the lover who sets up one or more exit strategies early on. They don’t want to feel responsible for letting you down so they plan ahead by serving you with a platter of excuses, preparing you, should they feel the need to hit that emergency button and slip out the back door. Keep your eyes and ears open for excuses about why they might not be able to make time for you– work, family issues and various other commitments that weren’t there before. If they really wanted to spend time with you, they would make time. It’s very simple.

5. Reverse Psychology

This kind of lover is essentially a coward and it’s possibly the worst way of being dumped. Hoping you will end the relationship for them, they’ll behave so distatefully, do things they know you hate, be as cold and harsh as can be and eventually, you’ll just give up. Effective, wouldn’t you say so?


So… what has Messy Nessy learned?!

Ignorance is not bliss.

As much as the world would be a better place if we were all just a little more straight-forward and honest with each other, don’t let people take you for a ride. The warning signs are pretty obvious if you’re willing to take off the rose-tinted glasses.

Don’t be a Coward

Next time you’re on the other side of the fence, think twice before telling a fib to save yourself from being the bad guy. It exposes a weak character and an inability to take responsibility for your own decisions. Forget bad karma, don’t get into bad habits and you won’t have to live with the repercussions.

Images by Roy Lichtenstein


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: