5 Signs You’re Falling In Love… And OUT of Friendship

In Uncategorized on December 3, 2010 at 9:44 am

Let me just say it. Girls HAVE to be more aware of themselves when they’re in relationships. I’ve seen it happen too many times (even to myself in the past), when a girl gets into a relationship and completely neglects her friends and the fabulous social life they once provided. Having consulted my fellow singletons on the classic warning signs of friends falling prey to the ‘boyfriend syndrome’, I’m writing this post purely for the benefit of all the girlfriends out there that need a crash course in self-awareness before its too late.

The Five Signs Are…

You have enough unopened voicemails to record a double sided cassette and dozens more unread messages from friends trying to stay in touch. You’re basically harder to get ahold of than a hotdog in Darfur. Don’t be suprised when you finally get around to responding and no one is feeling particularly chatty anymore.

Friends suggest a girls night out. You say: “Oh I’m too old to be going to nightclubs”. The escapades of your single friends even start to become “a bit slutty” for your liking and suddenly, you’re the conservative one. The truth of the matter is, you were probably the biggest slut* of the group before you became his girlfriend, so snap out of it and sign yourself up for that girls night out.

*a fun-loving, mischevious temptress.

Remember, when it’s all over and you can’t remember why you ever fell for that filthy b*stard, all you will want to do is party…

Occasionally, you emerge from your love-nest and decide to see what your friends are up to. Shock horror, they’re all having dinner together at a new hotspot and no one even bothered to invite you! Well, indeed, life has gone on without you since you’ve mastered the art of disappearing off the face of the planet.

You manage to arrange a coffee with some of the friends who haven’t totally given up on you. One problem. You have no idea what the hell anyone is talking about because guess what?! You’ve been too involved in your relationship to give a toss about any of the goings on in your friends’ lives.

Making a commitment to any kind of plan your friend suggests is extremely difficult for you. Your thought process may sound something like this: ‘Just in case he may want to see me for five whole minutes, I better not confirm those plans with Sophie to pick out her wedding dress.’ (Perhaps slightly exaggerated, but you know what we mean).

If you recognise any of these signs, please, for the sake of saving your friendships (and your social life), get in touch with your friends and admit your mistake. If they are true friends, they will be understanding and accept your apology with open arms. It happens to the best of us, just don’t let it happen too often.

A girl needs her friends for balance – to help bring out parts of her personality that don’t get explored in a relationship, to help her know when she’s making a bad decision or support her in a way that boyfriends can’t. Spending too much time with your boyfriend can be damaging to the relationship and guys are generally more attracted to a girl that doesn’t depend on his company all the time. Note, I have not referred to the boys in regards to having this problem because in general, ‘guy time’ is a sacred ritual– girlfriend or no girlfriend. A healthy practice that more of us should take into consideration…


While I’m on the subject of giving advice, I’d like to advise MessyNessyChic readers to wear solid shoes when in the household. Today, I slipped in my socks and fell onto the arm of a chair with my ribcage. After the immense pain submerged and the oxygen returned to my brain, I began to laugh at my blunder, which only caused the pain to return. The moral of the story girls and boys, is not to slide around the house in your socks like MessyNessy.


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