Can.I.Rock.it?

I’ve Been Told I Should “Tap into my Male Audience”

In I am... on February 18, 2011 at 7:39 am

I frequently shop in the men’s section, I often substitute meals with bowls of cereal and I’d rather be punched in the face than call customer services. Oh and I’m often suspicious that my friend’s cat is plotting to kill me. Four good reasons why I think I identify with the opposite sex and thus am qualified to write articles for a male audience.

How to Impress a Woman in this Crazy World We Live In

There are several phases of dating, all of which in our day and age, have one thing in common: technology. Whether you’re lying about the fact that you also enjoy long walks in the park to get a first date, telling her how much you miss her round buttocks or pretending you have moved to Yemen to avoid having to actually break-up with her, it’s all done nowadays via Blackberry, iPhone, Facebook, email and I hate to say it, Twitter (really). On the other hand, the trends are all around us (Broadwalk Empire, bow ties, brogues, George Clooney) reminding us that the revival of the modern gentlemen is most certainly here. If you would like us lady-folk to think you’re old-school yet debonair, sincere but stylish, thoughtful closely followed by alluring, do something completely out of your 21st century character and write us a hand-written note.

If your handwriting hasn’t regressed to the level of a pre-schooler since the invention of the keyboard, perfecting the art of the handwritten note is something every modern gentleman should aspire to. With that simple gesture, you become a man who stands far above the crowd.

Look no further than the Forgetful Gentleman’s Letterpress Correspondence System. Pressed into an Italian 100% cotton paper, the set includes 12 cards/ envelopes held in a cigar box-inspired case with access to an online personal event reminder system.


 

More Reasons to Buy the iPad and other Microsoft (just kidding!) Apple Products

Okay so you know how the only reasons you could pretend you didn’t want the iPad were because a) it didn’t have a real keyboard and b) it wasn’t easy to hold? Bad news kids. You’re now going to have to pretend it’s because you fear for your house pet’s life with the growing epidemic of animals developing unhealthy obsessions with iPad games. First, let me introduce the Zaggmate keyboard case.

It’s key features are:

  • Embedded wireless Bluetooth physical keyboard
  • Special function keys for music control, volume control, slideshow, home, search, etc.
  • Aircraft-grade aluminum with a bead-blasted, anodized finish that matches the iPad
  • Military grade high-density padding for superior drop protection
  • Innovative hinge provides ten angles for viewing and typing in both portrait and landscape mode (non-keyboard version only)
  • Stylish, thin and lightweight. Half as thin as most folios for the iPad
  • Large, flat base allows for use on a soft or uneven surface such as a lap or on a bed

Do you hear that? It’s the sound of thousands upon thousands more iPads being sold.

Next up, there’s the Grabbit. Check out the video below to really see how this simple but awesome product transforms the iPad.

::

SOLD! To the messy girl at the back! Single-handedly boosting the sales of the iPad, if I had been smart enough to invent any of this stuff I would be so damn rich right now (damnit).

The temptations just keep coming though. While being the weird little internet person that I am, hanging around the web all day, I came across these oh-s0-tempting handmade iPad and iPhone cases made from vintage fabrics just asking to be slipped onto some lucky Apple product.

Designed by Blythe King, available on Etsy.com (click to shop)

iPhone 4 case from $25 and iPad cases from $85

 

If You Make One Piece of Furniture in Your Life, Let it be This.

 

Again, another find as a result of hanging out online for way too long, I came across an Irish designer’s website who calls herself Blanaid. She’s a stylist/ interior designer/ journalist who made these coffee bag chairs on a whim and has been inundated with demands ever since she posted the pictures on her blog. It’s a pretty small set-up so there’s no shipping outside of Ireland and she’s making them on request… but she also happens to talk about how relatively easy they were to make…

The chairs were two old, horribly dirty things that were being thrown out – introduce one hot glue gun and a staple gun, along with eight hours, abit of Mary Chapin Carpenter and Sigur Ros to invoke patience and hey presto – my new favourite things!

Hmmm… a glue gun you say? I might be getting ahead of myself, but these are show stopping chairs and I’ll stop at nothing to one day have one in my home. Just think how little it would cost to have such a stunning chair (Blainaid by the way sells them for around 600 Euros if you’re too wimpy to embark on a D.I.Y adventure). Find an old armchair nobody wants, get ahold of some very soft, worn grain coffee sacks (avoid the itch – there should be a way to soften them even more) and get crafting. Okay so I know I’m being very vague here but I haven’t yet quite worked out all the details. I’m going to have to ask a man to do that…

Before

After


 

How Preppy Will You Go?

Image by Guerre on 360 Swagger. A blog all preppies will enjoy. Click to view.

Personally, I love me a bit of preppy. It’s all in the detail, little hints of paisley thoughtfulness in the breast pocket, a pleasantly bright sock or of course, a velvet slipper (I’ll take one in every colour). If you know not to overdo it all at once (I’m not sure the gentleman above is entirely serious with the suspenders) I might suggest you have a peek at these needlework belts by Smathers & Branson. I’ve always appreciated these belts on men and with the Black Eyed Peas getting up on stage in bow ties and pink shirts, I think this iconic preppy accessory has license to go a little wacky with the prints. I picked out my favorite ones just for you.

 

 

and something really special…! (Please don’t deny us the satisfaction of seeing you in this tuxedo belt attending your best friend’s wedding)

They have some pretty nice gift ideas too

 

Three Books Every Guy Should Have

1. Be the Guy with the Really Cool Random Facts

You Might be a Zombie and Other Bad News by the Editors of Cracked.com

A taster of what’s inside:

* A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.
* The FDA wouldn’t let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt.
* Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you.
* The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD.
* Think you’re going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions10 seconds before you even know what they are.

2. Have a Manly Coffee Table Book

Beer: A Genuine Collection of Cans by Dan Becker

Art + history. Not that fun. Beer, on the other hand, is very fun.

3. The Book that You Literally Cannot Tear Your Eyes Away From

The Big Butt Book is a perve’s paradise explores this perennial fascination with female booty—from small and taut to large and sumptuous—in the fourth installment of Dian Hanson‘s critically acclaimed body parts series. Over 400 photos from 1900 to the present day.

 

Insert Token Manly Tech-related Articles Here

I found a piece of web history as I was searching for some inspiration on website design the other day. P.S. You may or may not be aware that I am in the process of a re-design on MessyNessyChic (to be a generally more awesome site than it already is). If I have succeeded in attracting a male reader today, you will be pleased to that know I am making a huge effort not to include any shades of pink in the design (but I’m not promising anything). Stay tuned for details on the re-launch and in the mean time, check out these screen shots of how some of the most well-known websites used to look.

How Our Most Visited Sites Used to Look…

Google launched in 1996 – looking pretty geeky…

myspace launched in 2003… and things got progressively worse from there.

Facebook launched in 2004 – do you suppose that could be Zuckerberg’s face in the top left?

YouTube launched 2005 – no wonder I didn’t check in until 2009.


Wikipedia launched in 2001 – Avert your eyes…

 

 

Apple lauched in 1987, screen shot from 1996 – no iPads here.

Twitter 2006 – Twitter has been around for five years??

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The Most Outrageous Game of 2011 (Token Video Game Suggestion)

Another fact about me that you might not be aware of and that I think helps me identify with boys, is my unquenchable thirst for anything zombie-related. I prefer to go with movies or hypothetical thought processes about where I would hide should a zombie apocalypse occur, however, I’ve just come across a pretty eye-opening trailer for a zombie video game. Even though I could never quite advance past the treacherous obstacle that is Mario Cart, I would watch any guy play this for hours, popcorn in hand. Behold the outrageous and controversial trailer that is Dead Island, available on PC, Xbox 360 and PS3 later in 2011.

I really hope I’m not entirely eradicating my female followers in one clean swoop.

::::

 

and before you go…

What Would Happen if Men Were to Write for Women’s Editorial

Thanks for reading to the end!

(Image provided by some really cool graphic designers as I did not have time to try to my own but thought it rounded off the post nicely– next time)

Check out some of my other articles for dudes!

Five Fashion Don’ts for Dudes

How Metrosexual is Too Metrosexual?

Things that Make Men Do a Double Take

Why We Should Feel Sorry for Male Models

Have a good weekend readers 🙂


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  1. why-we-should-feel-sorry-for-male-models – an article on furniture!! Dude! It was all going so well. Ran to my Bro w visuals of the I pad….. Then you lost me for 5 minutes. And I re emerged again! I think you gotta remember there are two types of males in this day and age! Straight & Bent! You tap into 40/60. Regardless. I’m a huge fan. xxxxx

  2. Trailer for dead island is way too disturbing. Correction. 50/50

  3. The handjob really is a lost art, I cant remember the last time I received one 😦

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