Can.I.Rock.it?

Things that are Annoying and Things that are Tolerable this Week.

In I am... on October 11, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Nightmare inducing Easter Bunny

I‘m a little ticked off this week because the guy I was bribing to program that new website I’ve been going on about– well he moved to India and cut off all contact. So that’s pretty annoying. The whole shiny make-over thing is going to take a little longer than I thought folks, so please bare with me. In the meantime, please join me in being ticked off and find out what I think is annoying and mildly tolerable this week.

Facebook relationship Statuses

Okay so you really want people to know that you’re no longer sitting alone in a dark room eating cat food now that you’ve found love.

And why shouldn’t you be able to shout about being in love from your facebook profile, you ask?

Well that’s a good question. Also settle down.

The long answer is … you’ve only been together for fourteen minutes, your ex was actually better looking than this new one so the jokes on you, and everyone knows you’re rebounding.

The short answer is, you’re the type of person that would be better off without a Facebook account.

:::

iPhone 4S

No, it doesn’t fly or have the magic number 5 on it.

K.

But it will carry on conversations with you and obey you like a goddamn robot out of the Jetsons cartoons.

I’ll take one please.

:::

Google+

The truth is, I dislike Facebook. It’s the worst. And with the latest updates, they even added new mini-Facebooks to your Facebook, meaning there’s so many terrible Facebooks happening at once when you load that awful awful page.

But for better or worse, it’s part of all our daily routines. And I kind of like my daily routine. And I find nothing more obnoxious than when someone I’ve never met comes along and tells me I’m not living my life the way I should. I already have a social network. And I already have to deal with Twitter in my spare time. I don’t need Google+, with its “circles” telling me there’s more out there to experience. Let me be me. Let us be us.

Even if that means reloading Facebook every thirty seconds even though we despise everything about it.

:::

The 80s undertone in Drive

If you caught this gem of a movie this weekend, well done. You did a smart thing. If you didn’t, well then you’re just one of those people in life that has to be told about cool things before you go and do them, aren’t you? Jeez.

I’ve been having an 80s moment ever since I saw this sleek hipster-action thriller, starring more-than-just-a-pretty-face Ryan Gosling and his shiny jacket. With the camp, hot pink fonts, the techno-pop soundtrack, the chivalrous loner as the anti-hero à la Ryan O’Neal circa 1978‘s The Driver, 40-year-old Danish director Nicholas Refn (named best director in Cannes this year) elects to emphasize the retro — or rather, to evoke the period of his adolescence

Drive is set in the present day, but synthesizing Miami Vice‘s languid dissolves and neon-lined dive bars, BladeRunner‘s nocturnal skylines, and Top Gun‘s cinematic style– time stands still.

Impossibly, they also managed to style Gosling like David Hasslehoff from Night Rider and make it cool.

 and here’s one off the soundtrack “Under your spell” by Desire


:::

Fashion magazines

I opened a glossy mag the other day and had to flick through 76 pages of pure uninterrupted advertising until I could come across some editorial content. Then 16 more pages of advertisements followed before the next article. Remind me to write some kind of ground-breaking blog on this.

:::

Converse Hunting Collection

I bought my first pair of Converse high-tops in ten years this weekend. They are lovely and cream and new. And then I saw these bad boys on one of those cool style blogs. So that’s kind of annoying actually. But forgetting the fact that I just bought the wrong pair of shoes, how brilliant is this hunting collection by Converse Japan? And yes, that means they’re only available in Japan and you’ll have to pay in gold bullion for the overseas shipment.

:::

Hipsters being “Exposed”

So you might remember I did a blog on Lana Del Rey a little while back. Yup she was my “girl crush du jour”. I repeatedly listened to her songs until my iPod ran out of battery.

Just when I think I’ve come across a really original, indie underground artist that edits their own Youtube music videos from their mum’s basement in a small town, some A hole has to come along and tell me that in fact she’s just another sell out.

The incomprehensible and seemingly insane blog, The Hipster Runoff (I’m not going to provide the link, you can google it later) is ‘exposing’ Miss Lana Del Rey, claiming she is in fact being backed by major record labels attempting to take her mainstream via the ‘indiesphere’, i.e by marketing to hipsters and ‘indie bloggers’ (I guess the latter would be me?)

The article came complete with before-and-after pictures of her lip job and snapshots of her ‘canoodling with industry insiders’ sniping, “here is Lizzy Grant hanging out with an ‘industry insider’, probably scheming to ‘trick’ the indie blogosphere”.

Okay, maybe it’s a little weird that she had her lips done, but do we really care if she was once a failed mainstream artist called Lizzy Grant that used to kiss record company ass?

It seems that just like the rest of us, Lana Del Rey or Lizzy Grant, just wasn’t always this cool. And yes shockingly, she doesn’t want to be living in her mom’s basement for the rest of her life, hence the industry insider canoodling.

So blog off, Hipster Runoff. Let me enjoy my seemingly authentic indie artist.

Plus, I have tickets to see her in Paris this November so I’d appreciate it if we all still considered her cool and edgy and stuff.

:::

This Halloween costume.

Oh yes, don’t think I’ve forgotten about Halloween costumes this year. I’ve got my brain on the game. Don’t you worry.

:::

Parisians talking all Parisian to me and me not understanding them.

Edmond Kiraz

If they say something funny, and I don’t understand I have two options:

a) I can ruin the moment by asking for them to repeat what they’ve said, reminding them that I’m slightly annoying to have around.

b) pretend to laugh and then feel like a complete idiot when we both realize I’ve just pretended to laugh.

:::

Killing some time, teasing my dog.

.

Meet Messy Nessy’s colleague, Pacha (he works in the back office). Now before I hear any complaints about animal cruelty, that’s garlic fougasse bread I’m making him work for there. That is some seriously special bread.

Now I tend to be very self-involved and went and thought that because I find my dog the most indecently cute thing alive on this planet, you might also find him more than tolerable…

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