According to Google, Rebecca Black was more important than anything else in 2011

In I heard... on December 19, 2011 at 4:47 pm

2011: How the World Searched

You are looking at this year’s official 10 fastest-rising global queries from the Google Zeitgeist after sorting through billions of Google searches to capture the true spirit of 2011. “What mattered in 2011?” they ask on their gleaming new 2011 report.

Well you’ll be happy to hear that it wasn’t Justin Bieber but the slightly more tolerable under-aged pop star Rebecca Black, that Google users deemed more worthy of their time than oh say, any of these …

 The Google Zeitgeist provided us with adorable little graphs like this one comparing Miss Black to the person we thought was breaking all the records; Lady Gaga. Oh, how wrong we were… Red is Rebecca and green is Lady Gaga.

In at number 5, we’ve got “Battlefield 3” as the most searched term. Well isn’t it comforting to know that our generation is largely concerned with first-person shooter video games. Waging war from the comfort of our living rooms on countries and populations we know nothing about– ah, the future looks bright.

The 6th spot on the list for the fastest-rising global search terms belongs to something that never actually existed– the iPhone 5. Funny how that works.

The late Steve Jobs took 9th place and the iPad2 managed to take 10th place by the skin of its teeth despite huge global popularity. Google lovingly informs us in a ‘fun facts’ part of the annual Zeitgeist that a Chinese teenager sold his right kidney to buy an iPad2.

In the global list of fastest-rising search terms for people, Pippa Middleton came in 3rd place, outdoing her own sister (you know the future queen, the one who actually got married to the prince) Kate Middleton as well as President Obama and Steve jobs. Naturally, Rebecca Black took the top spot on this list too.

Not surprisingly, the fastest falling search term of 2011 was ‘Myspace‘.

The most popular google image search was ‘planking‘.

(the inexplicable internet fad we all tried to ignore)

2011. A great year for Rebecca Black, a bad year for dictators. 

See the full Zeitgeist here.

‘Mourning’ North Koreans: Crocodile Tears?

Obviously, I’m not an expert on what exactly has been happening in that starving totalitarian nightmare they call North Korea (I’m more of a ‘Rebecca Black Breaking News’ kind of blogger after all). But I would consider myself an expert in the field of delusive lacrimation– also referred to as crocodile tears or fake-ass crying.

As the youngest child and only daughter, sister to a then meanie, poopie-head older brother, I pretty much majored in delusive lacrimation from an early age. And I can spot a delusive lacrimator anywhere. Thus, unless the cameraman managed to come across a group of AMC’s “The Walking Dead” fans still dealing with the news that the second half the series will not air until February, I say this state-controlled video footage from is 100% staged…

I am seriously supposed to believe this kid actually knows what he’s crying about?

Are they being paid? Has someone succeeded in brain-washing an entire country?

Sarcasm aside, this is one of the most inexplicable news stories I’ve come across all year.

In other News…

Oh good, that’s settled then.

(why are these newspapers still in print?)

After the events in Cairo this weekend …

The only advice I have for the Egyptian people is…

Kill them with Kindness.

To view the recent inhumane acts witnessed in Cairo this weekend, watch the video below from the 30 second mark. 

It’s shocking.

1. Inappropriately Blogging About Japan

2. Wanna Know What’s Going on in the World?


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