Why am I having Hipster Problems?

In I am... on January 18, 2012 at 11:03 am

One morning I woke up and found that a really erroneous ex-boyfriend (i.e: was it really necessary to date that dude) had taken it upon himself to like the Facebook page of Lana Del Rey.

[I sincerely apologize to my readers who don’t have a clue/ give a shit who Lana Del Rey is].

The discovery wouldn’t have been so alarming if his taste in music wasn’t based on David Guetta’s greatest hits. Don’t worry, I doubt he, nor David reads this blog.

My problem is that I’m secretly very proud to be one of the first thousand or so Lana Del Rey groupies. I basque in glory each time I take a glimpse at my Lana Del Rey ticket for one of her first ever gigs, blu-tacked to my mirror. You see, before Lana came along, I never got to be like one of those cool kids that made early discoveries of alternative artists and bands like ‘Fleet Foxes’ or some shit.

When she began appearing on mainstream talk shows and magazine covers, still I remained devoted. Even when her song was used for the Gossip Girl new season promo advert, I let it slide. But when this ex-boyfriend (really lame, trust me) fatally declared his admiration for the indie breakout star on Facebook I knew then, that it was all over for me and Lana, it was the last straw. Stupid rolling Facebook newsfeed always telling me stuff I don’t want to know.

Incidentally, and to arrive at some kind of point here, my gag reflex reaction to this kind of information actually reveals a thing or two about me according to a recent study by Harvard University … (yeah, you know that means it’s legit).

After analyzing the Facebook pages of 200 college students over four years, the researchers found that it’s a quest to have unique tastes that drives people into being hipsters and that when your friends start liking the same indie bands as you, you’re more likely to stop liking those bands.

Kevin Lewis, lead study researcher and a Ph.D. candidate in sociology at Harvard, explains the symptoms of being a hipster:

“The meaning of an indie/alternative taste rests not just in the taste itself—but also in being the only one among one’s friendship circle that expresses it,” he says. “If I like The Decemberists, and suddenly my friends start liking them too, suddenly I’m no longer socially distinctive. So this taste loses much of its appeal and I will run off in search of some new band to express my ‘hip’ identity.”

Oh god, oh god, oh god. All the signs point to it. Why? Why am I having hipster problems?

I suppose this is similar to that time when I tried to diagnose myself on Wikipedia.

Is this the beginning of a vicious, unending cycle? Where I keep trying to seek out new, ever more ironic music until I am—at least in my own mind—so cool and my taste in music is so unique that there is literally no one left on earth that is hip enough for me to be friends with?

Woah, that must be like hipster enlightenment. Perched on an ‘off the beaten path’ mountain peak where you sit in your navajo cardigan and Doc Martens listening to music on your iPod Nano only you can hear because you’ve actually run out of power.

Thankfully, while you’re perched on that mountain top, you’ll still be able to get a glimpse of (and feel superior to) all the mainstream losers down at ground level because you’ll be wearing a pair of those big ol’ thick-framed hipster glasses.


In other news … 

Anyone else notice Kate Middleton looking all Jesus-like on this month’s issue of Tatler magazine?


Solved: Why Women stay Single


Token Ironic Art Addition…


And remember folks…


Lana Del Rey May Send You to Rehab


  1. Ah, god, I just love it! Giggling (in my mind) at my desk – it’s serious here. Suddenly catching my reflection in the computer screen…wearing a pair of those very specs :S

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