The Stuff Women Have to Deal With

This Was the Crappy Dating Advice that was Available to Ladies in the 1930s:

This has to be the quote of the day: “For when a man dances, he wants to dance”.

Well alrighty then!

Remember ladies! Don’t tug at your girdle! 

So to sum it up….. Shut up and look pretty.

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This is What 365 Days worth of Makeup Looks Like

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Decoding Boy Texts…

Texting Scenario 1: Fast Food Delivery

Boy: U still out? I’m hanging with a friend, need an escape plan.

Girl: [Jumping for joy, he actually wants to join me out and even meet my friends] : I’m at the pub [insert exact address here], Come! 

Boy: Okay, so when you’re done, you should come to mine. I’ll leave the door unlocked [insert exact address here], come find me in my cosy bed.

Decoded: He’s counting on the fact that you’ll be boozed up enough so that you won’t actually notice how insulting and lazy his invitation really is. At this point, he’s pretty certain you like him a lot, possibly enough for you to forgo all sense and logic and be on his doorstep faster than a Domino’s Pizza. Get out while you still can. 

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Texting Scenario 2: The Morse Code Boy

Boy: Hey!!!!!!!!!!……… Nessy 🙂  😉  :* ……………….. I was thinking……………….what are you doing…………. 2nite?

Girl:  No reply

Decoded: Every one of those ridiculous punctuation marks represents a moment of awkward silence you would have on a date with him. Time is precious, don’t bother.

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Texting Scenario 3: The delusional boy that thinks he’s already seen you naked but never, ever will. 

Boy: Hey Sexy, how’s that body?

Girl: No answer.

Ever.

Decoded: He sent this to about fifteen other girls (none of which replied). He’s also currently auditioning for reality shows such as The Bachelor.

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Texting Scenario 4: Eurotrash talker

Boy: Ciao! Ca Va?! What are you doing tonight bella? 

Girl: Erm. I think you have the wrong number.

Decoded: Don Juan thinks he’s foreign (maybe his grandmother is). He just looks like someone that could sell olive oil/ hair gel for a living, and therefore thinks he should be spewing this crap all over his texts. He’ll be a cheese ball all his life. 

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Texting Scenario 5: Never Gives Up, Talks to Himself

Boy: Well hello there!

[A few days later]

Boy: Hey, what are you up to?

[A week later]

Boy: What’s up!?

[Another week later]

Boy: So, when am I gonna see you?

[A month later]

Boy: Hey, long time!

[Several months later]

Boy: How’s it going girl?

[One year later]

Boy: Hey, I’m at a party! Wish you were here!

[New Year’s Eve]

Boy: Hey, wanna hang?

Decoded: Rather than taking a hint, eventually he might assume you died. If you’re lucky.

American Girls in Paris

Summer has arrived here in Paris, which means, so have the American girls.

For twenty-something Parisian boys, this is hunting season. American girls are numerous, they very much enjoy alcohol (as well as the no-age restriction) and they’re generally less intimidating than your average female Parisienne.

French women –who are well aware of this themselves– are generally complicated and slightly nutty creatures.

It is common knowledge amongst most Parisian men that American girls who come to Paris in the summer are searching for three simple things:

1) The Eiffel Tower– along with a miniature version of it, encased in a plastic snow globe.

2) The smelliest, least transportable traditional French food (that most French people indeed don’t even eat), which will not actually get past customs.

AND…

3) A summer love affair with a French boy who could read the small print off a can of peas and still make it sound sexy in his accent.

What’s funny is that the twenty-something French boy wants an American girlfriend for the summer just as much as the Abercrombie & Fitch-loving girl wants a whirlwind European romance. By the second date, she’s most likely to be declared his girlfriend (time is of the essence after all– summer is short and the concept of ‘dating’ is still an unfamiliar one over here). Sweet isn’t it ?

Now the thing is, there are allocated hunting territories for this particular sport. The Parisian boys know they won’t be finding many ex-cheerleaders at the newest, hardest-to-get-in nightspots in town. And as an American girl, you can’t just rock up to those kind of places either and not expect to get some pretty scathing glares from Parisian women all night.

Whether you’re an American girl on her first trip to Paris reading this blog…

… or a French boy who has just been slapped in the face one too many times by jealous lover ‘Marie-Louise’ and subsequently Googled ‘americaine girlz in Paris’

…OR just someone like me who enjoys occasionally witnessing this incredibly fascinating and time-honoured Franco-American tradition–

…here are a few places to go…

American Girls Meet French Boys Here: 

Summertime:

Le Long Hop
27, Rue Frédéric Sauton, 75005 Paris

Little Temple Bar
12, rue Princesse, 75006 Paris

Le Frog and Princess
9, rue Princesse, 75006 Paris

All year round:

Le Bottle Shop
5, Rue Trousseau, 75011 Paris
(Très pratique, car situé juste en face de l’auberge internationale des jeunes…)

Le Violon Dingue
46, rue Montagne Sainte Geneviève, 75005 Paris

Chez Georges
11, Rue des Cannettes, 75006 Paris

The Most Rock’n’Roll Bar in Paris

When I first moved to Paris, I went on a date with a guy who I pretty much had nothing in common with. Like really, nothing. But, to his credit, he had the whole rock’n’roll thing going on and so, off on a date we went (you’ll take anything when you’re new to a city). Sitting directly opposite him over a carafe of vin rouge, I quickly realized that he was more grunge (as in lack of shampoo) than rock god. I had just started to calculate an elaborate early escape plan when he began telling me about the most rock’n’roll bar in Paris I would apparently ever come across; Le Fanfaron.

He spoke of an authentic 60s vibe, the fiery co-owning Parisian couple that played out their lover’s tiffs at the bar, knocked back tequila shots with the customers and played Jimmy Hendrix vinyls all night if they wanted to. Needless to say, I took a mental note of the venue’s name, ended the date by informing him of my upcoming move to Yemen and headed sans the grease ball to Le Fanfaron the following weekend (note: not really moving to Yemen).

Lou Doillon at the Fanfaron

I had done my Googling and found that Le Fanfarron was in fact the favorite bar of none other than my girl crush du jour, Lou Doillon (a.k.a. daughter of Jane Birkin). In a very caché backstreet off Ledru-Rollin (near Bastille), my girlfriend and I found what seemed to be a bit of a local secret. Situated on a narrow residential street, Le Fanfaron is a place that could only be found by word of mouth.

The clientele is a fascinating mix of artists, musicians, writers, travelers young and old, using this intimate but psychedelic setting as if it was their own communal living room. It’s highly unusual to go to Le Fanfaron without meeting someone new, without witnessing one of the bartenders’ sensational alcohol- infused tantrums and certainly, without having something pretty rock’n’roll to tell your friends about.

6 Rue de la Main d’Or, 75011 Paris, Metro: Ledru-Rollin

P.S. It’s Independence Day for Americans on Monday, 4th July. Good theme for an outdoor party?!

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Elegant Men on Bicycles!

I think more men should ride bicycles. I see a lot of well-dressed men in Paris, fresh from the office board room hopping on bikes rather than into flash cars.  I think it’s extremely refreshing and shows that it takes more than a pimped out ride to show you have style…

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So How Did the Dogs Deal with the Heat this Week?!

On the hottest day of the year in Paris, at 37 degrees, I was walking down the street, wondering whether I would actually make it to the end without biting the dust when I stopped and noticed this black labrador sprawled out on the sidewalk. He had obviously been suffering in the heat with such a thick coat, but had cleverly figured out that these metal grills were in fact acting as a massive ventilator from underneath, Marilyn Monroe style. So while girls in skirts were staying clear of the vents, this dog certainly had the right idea and attracted many ‘awws’ and camera snaps from passer-byers.

Awwww.

Anyhoo, that’s all. A light Friday post for you!

Is France Paying the Price for Being Notoriously Good in Bed?

At the forefront of scandal: Strauss Kahn

Okay, so we’ve just found our next Berlusconi.

The over-sexed Italian politican can exit stage left because France’s next would-be President, Dominique Strauss-Kahn (pictured above), is currently sitting in a New York slammer for charges of the attempted rape of a hotel maid.

And here comes the can of worms (spilling all over his party’s hopes to win France in the next election); Strauss-Kahn has apparently been attacking women, journalists and hotel maids alike, for years and getting away with it; the old devil.

To be really honest, I didn’t actually care who this guy was until his extra-curricular activities became the topic of chitchat between customer and baker in the boulangèrie queue one morning, when all I wanted was to do was buy my damn croissant and move on with my day.

Living in France for over six months now, I still read English newspapers and watch the BBC news. Ask me three things about French President Sarkozy and I’ll only tell you two; he’s married to Carla Bruni and likes to point his finger a lot.

Right, so we’ve clarified I’m more interested in my morning pastries than French politics, but the unavoidable frenzy surrounding the story of a powerful Frenchman’s moment of crazed lust for a hotel maid, got me thinking on a tangent and it goes something like this…

Berlusconi and Strauss-Kahn.

Both were in positions of immense power and very much in the public eye. Why would they risk their reputations so callously? Or why were their ongoing antics obligingly brushed under the carpet for so long?

The Italian and the Frenchman…

Both notorious lovers, both synonymous with an infamous culture of vigorous seduction.

What are the consequences of a culture with such deep-rooted sensationalism of sexual desire? More importantly, what are the consequences for women?

Let’s take a look…

One only has to walk a few blocks in Paris or take a few turns through the metro passageways to make an educated guess that advertisements featuring women outnumber those featuring men by about 10 to 1.

The woman’s presence is always inviting. They are portrayed as passive objects of lust.

They are flawlessly-made up young women, under the age of 30, no matter what the advertisement is for, tempting Frenchmen at every corner, constantly provoking and encouraging their clichéd lust for females.

 I  came across an article from the New York Times about women’s equality in France written in October last year. I’m no feminist, but journalist Kathryn Bennhold’s opening sentence certainly raised an eyebrow…

Weeks after giving birth, French women are offered a state-paid, extended course of vaginal gymnastics, complete with personal trainer, electric stimulation devices and computer games that reward particularly nimble squeezing.

Finding it hard to believe that a government would seriously pay for its women to take a course in kegel exercises, I needed confirmation.

A quick Google later and indeed, the French public health insurance program pays for women to have 10 sessions of pelvic-floor tightening physiotherapy after childbirth – per child.  One website claimed it was considered the French woman’s duty to keep her muscles down there firm and toned; for health reasons of course, cited as preventing post-pregnancy incontinence and organ descent. Sure sure.

Ten sessions of free abdominal exercises follow to help the new mother get that washboard stomach back that her husband sees advertised every morning on his way to work.

Oh and that New York Times article also happened to mention…

The birthplace of Simone de Beauvoir and Brigitte Bardot may look Scandinavian in employment statistics, but it remains Latin in attitude. French women appear to worry about being feminine, not feminist, and French men often display a form of gallantry predating the 1789 revolution.

This lingerie advert has been defaced with the words "this is not what woman looks like" (rough translation)

As we’ve noticed women are pretty much portrayed as passive objects of lust to Parisians on a daily basis , now let’s see who represents our typical French male in comparison…

While the six packs and perfectly gelled hair are reserved for the pages of a GQ men’s magazine, what is presented as the typical French male to the general public is pretty interesting…

  Men are average looking blokes (never was this ugly British word so appropriate). Utterly average-looking in comparison to adverts of women, they are carefree, aged 30 to 50 or older, with visible wrinkles, stubble and their physical forms are rarely the focus of the image. Yet they still manage to exude power (and evidently the power to sell the product too).

This one takes the cake ...

Worrying fact no.1:  France ranks 46th in the World Economic Forum’s 2010 gender equality report, trailing behind the United States, most of Europe, but also Kazakhstan and Jamaica.

Worrying fact no.2: French women have the most babies in Europe, but are also the biggest consumers of anti-depressants.

Worrying fact no.3: Only one of France’s top companies is run by a woman but her appointment in the public sector is largely the result of her belonging to the cream of the crop of the French elite.

President Sarkozy with wife Carla Bruni

Hold on, let’s just take a moment…

Sarkozy with Bruni strolling on the beach (giving the photographers every angle they could possible need)

He… (top dog in France)

Gets to go to bed at night with her… 

And that’s France’s first lady for ya!

Fortunately, some are recognizing the link between such provocative advertising and attitude towards women. Like the lingerie advertisement before, this poster for online clothing store La Redoute has also been defaced by an activist group. Take a closer look…

In bold red lettering, La Redoute claims “tout est permis” or “everything is allowed”, alongside a model wearing what might as well be underwear, legs spread wide apart.

Well gee, that’s pretty much Strauss-Kahn’s motto too!

The sticker placed over the model’s face translates to “advertisement that solicits rape.”

Quite right…

Are we starting to get an idea for the kind of message being transmitted here in the French capital, a.k.a  the city of romance?

Perhaps there’s a little too much romance going on here. Enough to sugar-coat what’s really going on…?

I don’t claim to know what it’s like yet for a woman in the French workplace, but I have an inkling there are quite a few sectors where the glass ceiling might still be firmly in place…

…the type of environments where inappropriate ‘incidents’ might be more easily ‘understood’ and overlooked. Where an older man in a position of power really can take whatever he wants.

Well it’s part of the deep-rooted culture after all, is it not…?

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Related Articles: 

How Awkwardly Pornographic Can the American Apparel Ads Get?

The Reality of Celebrity Photoshop

Images thanks to the Illusionists

Who is the Dandy Man?

Modern Man is Afraid of Dandyism. Except for a few…

When you think of silk handkerchiefs, pink corduroys, tweed and double-breasted tailoring, would you associate such a style of dress with some of the poorest slums of Africa?

What you’re looking at is the phenomenon of Sapeurs, a subculture of extraordinarily dressed dandies from the Congo. In the midst of their war-torn slums, these men dress in tailored suits, elegantly smoke on their pipes and stroll the impoverished streets in immaculate footwear.

Dandyism or sapologie in this case, is not a fashion trend. In some of the farthest corners of the earth where true dandyism exists, it serves as something closer to a religion; a code of living.

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The Story of Sapeurism:

Historically, especially in late 18th- and early 19th-century Britain, a dandy, who was self-made, often strove to imitate an aristocratic lifestyle despite coming from a middle-class background.

Records of African dandy men go back as far as the 18th century when slaves were given extravagant and elegant costumes by their European masters to effectively ‘fit in’ with their luxurious surroundings. By the time the slave trade was abolished, liberated Africans had already begun to create their own unique dandy style, in some cases, doing it better than the Europeans had ever done it.

The little-known subculture of the Congo Sapeurs comes from la SAPE, short for Société des Ambianceurs et des Personnes Élégantes, or the Society of Tastemakers and Elegant People. The first ‘icon’ or ‘Grand Sapeur’ was André Matsoua, an influential Congolese religious and political figure who in 1922, returned from Paris, to the amazement of his traditional African countrymen, dressed entirely in elegant French clothing.

SAPE as the Congolese (and now you) know it, was not officially born until an emerging pop star in the late 1960s sparked somewhat of a style revolution. Papa Wemba, known as La Pape* de la Sape (pope of Sape) had an incurable fever for French fashion after multiple trips to Paris for his gigs. Under the strict Mobutu regime, freshly liberated from Belgium, any association with Western culture  in Congo was severely frowned upon. Papa Wemba’s defiance became a symbolic gesture in the midst of economic deprivation and political dictatorship. Papa Wemba even established his own village that upheld a set of moral codes with emphasis on high standards of personal cleanliness, hygiene and smart dress among Congolese youths regardless of societal differences.

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The Code of Sapologie

A sapeur must have sartorial know-how. Socks should be a certain height, a maximum of three colors can be used in one outfit and an attention to detail is required, such as leaving the bottom cuff button of a suit jacket undone (tell-tale difference between an off-the-rack suit and a tailored one is buttonholes that you can actually undo). They consider their style as an art form– the art of being a gentleman. Of course many books will tell you being a gentleman is not just about being a sharp dresser, it is also about impeccable manners.

Despite most having witnessed first-hand the brutality and horror of three civil wars, a sapeur is known as a non-violent person, respectful and considerate towards others. One of their mottos include, “Let’s drop the weapons, let us work and dress elegantly”. Most are Catholic and attend church regularly. A drug habit does not an elegant lifestyle make; sapeurs observe a drug-free, generally conservative existence.

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What’s Wrong With this Picture?

I know you’ve been thinking it– here comes the reality. In the Democratic Republic of the Congo, the average annual income is about US$100, among the lowest in the world, according to the World Bank. In case you were wondering whether there might be a very reasonably priced tailor living somewhere in the area, you should know that a sapeur is likely to spend as much on an imported Italian-made suit jacket as he is on a house in the Congo’s capital Kinshasa.

I read about one Congolese sapeur who worked eight months at his part-time job just to earn enough for a single outfit, one of 30 he owns, so he never has to be seen wearing the same outfit twice in one month. The reality of his situation is very inconsistent with the image he likes to project. He leaves his ex-girlfriend to support their 5-year-old son and still lives with his parents in a tiny room with a mattress.

Over twenty-five years after La Sape was born, the movement is morphing more and more into a craze for expensive French and Italian designer labels. Many of today’s younger followers of SAPE wear color-blinding outfits that costs upwards of $10,000 and attend weekly ‘throw downs’, competing to see who’s wearing the most expensive designer labels. They also happen to barely make a living out of the rubble that remains in their war-torn hometowns.

Before visas became difficult to get, some would travel to Europe to buy clothing to sell back home. Some rely on Congolese shoplifting gangs in Brussels and Paris to send them the latest designer suits,  many have spent time in jail and some simply piece together outfits by borrowing. The Sapeurs dream of making it to Paris– what they see as the ‘promise land’ of haute ‘sapeurism’. Even Papa Wembe ended up in jail for attempting to smuggle two-hundred illegal immigrants into France, attempting to pass them off them as members of his band. Those that do make it to Paris mostly end up in the ghettos, far removed from their ‘Parisian dream’, washing dishes or in some extreme cases, selling themselves into male prostitution.

It would appear, never was there a more appropriate context for the expression, ‘fashion victim’. Older members of the SAPE have expressed regret for the example they have set for the younger generations, admitting ‘it was like a drug’.

But is it all that different from some of the extremities of our own fashion industry of the modern western world?

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Long-live Sapeurism?

Jocelyn Armel (pictured above left), is a Congolese sapeur fighting to improve the movement’s reputation. Today he lives in Paris where he owns a fashion boutique selling the dandy style clothing. He says La SAPE’s goal is “to celebrate good fashion sense and an ideal of ‘gentlemanly’ behavior. We as Africans need to believe in Africa again, we need to believe that something good can come out of the continent and its people,” he said.

The ongoing conflict in the Congo has killed, so far, 5.4 million people, and made hundreds of thousands of residents of Brazzaville and Kinshasa (the birthplaces of la Sape) into refugees. People in the Republic of the Congo, have a life expectancy of just 53 years and in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, it’s even lower at 47.

Perhaps when (if) normality can be restored in this post-war environment, only then can the true values of La Sape exist without a dark side. “There can only be Sape when there is peace” says photographer Héctor Mediavilla Sabaté, who has been studying and photographing Sapeurs since 2003.

While the subculture has largely been ignored by the world’s fashion press (most likely due to its ‘black market’ overtones) some have taken notice. The New York Times‘ The Moment blog reviewed the photobook by Daniele Tamagni documenting the phenomenon (Gentlemen Of Bakongo Book: The Dandies Of Sub-Saharan Africa)

What makes these images so compelling is the way they stand out among such scenes of abject poverty — they pose in their Sunday best in weed-filled lots and peacock through the streets crowded with trash and half-dressed children… [their] elegance and pride brings a nice dose of optimism to the region.”

 

It is something to consider, the unimaginable feat and required dedication of maintaining a wardrobe of bespoke suits, evening shirts, accessories, jewelry and leather dress shoes in such an environment. Would it be ridiculous/ insensitive/ ignorant to assume they have a dry cleaners anywhere?

 

Iconic ‘dandy’ designer, Paul Smith wrote in the introduction of the photobook by Daniele Tamagni:

 

It is incredible enough today to see men dressed so elegantly in capital cities like Paris or London, let alone in the Congo. Their attention to detail, their use of colour, all set against the environment they live in, is just fantastic.

While we can’t fully embrace the movement without acknowledging its sinister footnotes, I can’t help but consider these images as an unlikely inspiration of style and self-expression. I think I am not alone…

Is it possible these trend setters for the urban gentleman might have taken a few style notes from les Sapeurs?

Musician/ actor, Andre 3000 (of Outkast)

Musician / fashion designer, Pharrell Williams

Musician / fashion collaborator, Kanye West

Infamous street-style photographer, Guerre

Nearly finished! (thanks for reading this far)

As much as I would like to try, it would be wrong of me to make up my own rules of ‘Gentleman’s Do’s and Don’ts’– this can only really come from a gentleman of experience and having read Mr. Guerre’s blog (swagger360.blogspot.com), I would like to present to you some of the things on his list… (along with various images I wish I had taken I’ve found around the web)

A Dandy Gentleman’s Guide to Dressing

The Essentials:

– A BESPOKE SUIT ( if you can’t do bespoke, bring your off the rack suit to a good tailor.)

A pair of DRESS SHOES (1 black, 1 brown…. Gym shoes ARE NOT dress shoes no matter how much they cost.)

– A POWER WATCH (nothing speaks as loudly of a man as his watch…except everything else on this list.)

*MessyNessy side note: Power watch does not mean a money watch. You can find beautiful watches by unlikely brands for a fraction of the price.

p.s. Note the bottom cuff buttons are left undone to indicate the workmanship of the suit– très SAPE.

– A TOP COAT (Nothing looks more ridiculous than a man in a suit and bubble or leather coat.)

– A CARRYING BAG (Leave the back pack for the 23 and under crowd.)

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NEVER COMMIT THE FOLLOWING SINS….

– Never wear a suit or coat with the tag on the sleeve indicating designer or fabric.

– Never wear suspenders and a belt.

– Never wear a matching tie and pocket square.

and before you go…

Remember there is a big difference between style and fashion. Fashion is what you buy, style is self expression and how you live.

 

 

Images thanks to Daniele Tamagni, Francesco Giusti, Tommy Ton, Guerre.

 

 

 

I’ve Been Told I Should “Tap into my Male Audience”

I frequently shop in the men’s section, I often substitute meals with bowls of cereal and I’d rather be punched in the face than call customer services. Oh and I’m often suspicious that my friend’s cat is plotting to kill me. Four good reasons why I think I identify with the opposite sex and thus am qualified to write articles for a male audience.

How to Impress a Woman in this Crazy World We Live In

There are several phases of dating, all of which in our day and age, have one thing in common: technology. Whether you’re lying about the fact that you also enjoy long walks in the park to get a first date, telling her how much you miss her round buttocks or pretending you have moved to Yemen to avoid having to actually break-up with her, it’s all done nowadays via Blackberry, iPhone, Facebook, email and I hate to say it, Twitter (really). On the other hand, the trends are all around us (Broadwalk Empire, bow ties, brogues, George Clooney) reminding us that the revival of the modern gentlemen is most certainly here. If you would like us lady-folk to think you’re old-school yet debonair, sincere but stylish, thoughtful closely followed by alluring, do something completely out of your 21st century character and write us a hand-written note.

If your handwriting hasn’t regressed to the level of a pre-schooler since the invention of the keyboard, perfecting the art of the handwritten note is something every modern gentleman should aspire to. With that simple gesture, you become a man who stands far above the crowd.

Look no further than the Forgetful Gentleman’s Letterpress Correspondence System. Pressed into an Italian 100% cotton paper, the set includes 12 cards/ envelopes held in a cigar box-inspired case with access to an online personal event reminder system.

 

More Reasons to Buy the iPad and other Microsoft (just kidding!) Apple Products

Okay so you know how the only reasons you could pretend you didn’t want the iPad were because a) it didn’t have a real keyboard and b) it wasn’t easy to hold? Bad news kids. You’re now going to have to pretend it’s because you fear for your house pet’s life with the growing epidemic of animals developing unhealthy obsessions with iPad games. First, let me introduce the Zaggmate keyboard case.

It’s key features are:

• Embedded wireless Bluetooth physical keyboard
• Special function keys for music control, volume control, slideshow, home, search, etc.
• Aircraft-grade aluminum with a bead-blasted, anodized finish that matches the iPad
• Military grade high-density padding for superior drop protection
• Innovative hinge provides ten angles for viewing and typing in both portrait and landscape mode (non-keyboard version only)
• Stylish, thin and lightweight. Half as thin as most folios for the iPad
• Large, flat base allows for use on a soft or uneven surface such as a lap or on a bed

Do you hear that? It’s the sound of thousands upon thousands more iPads being sold.

Next up, there’s the Grabbit. Check out the video below to really see how this simple but awesome product transforms the iPad.

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SOLD! To the messy girl at the back! Single-handedly boosting the sales of the iPad, if I had been smart enough to invent any of this stuff I would be so damn rich right now (damnit).

The temptations just keep coming though. While being the weird little internet person that I am, hanging around the web all day, I came across these oh-s0-tempting handmade iPad and iPhone cases made from vintage fabrics just asking to be slipped onto some lucky Apple product.

Designed by Blythe King, available on Etsy.com (click to shop)

iPhone 4 case from $25 and iPad cases from $85

 

If You Make One Piece of Furniture in Your Life, Let it be This.

 

Again, another find as a result of hanging out online for way too long, I came across an Irish designer’s website who calls herself Blanaid. She’s a stylist/ interior designer/ journalist who made these coffee bag chairs on a whim and has been inundated with demands ever since she posted the pictures on her blog. It’s a pretty small set-up so there’s no shipping outside of Ireland and she’s making them on request… but she also happens to talk about how relatively easy they were to make…

The chairs were two old, horribly dirty things that were being thrown out – introduce one hot glue gun and a staple gun, along with eight hours, abit of Mary Chapin Carpenter and Sigur Ros to invoke patience and hey presto – my new favourite things!

Hmmm… a glue gun you say? I might be getting ahead of myself, but these are show stopping chairs and I’ll stop at nothing to one day have one in my home. Just think how little it would cost to have such a stunning chair (Blainaid by the way sells them for around 600 Euros if you’re too wimpy to embark on a D.I.Y adventure). Find an old armchair nobody wants, get ahold of some very soft, worn grain coffee sacks (avoid the itch – there should be a way to soften them even more) and get crafting. Okay so I know I’m being very vague here but I haven’t yet quite worked out all the details. I’m going to have to ask a man to do that…

Before

After

 

How Preppy Will You Go?

Image by Guerre on 360 Swagger. A blog all preppies will enjoy. Click to view.

Personally, I love me a bit of preppy. It’s all in the detail, little hints of paisley thoughtfulness in the breast pocket, a pleasantly bright sock or of course, a velvet slipper (I’ll take one in every colour). If you know not to overdo it all at once (I’m not sure the gentleman above is entirely serious with the suspenders) I might suggest you have a peek at these needlework belts by Smathers & Branson. I’ve always appreciated these belts on men and with the Black Eyed Peas getting up on stage in bow ties and pink shirts, I think this iconic preppy accessory has license to go a little wacky with the prints. I picked out my favorite ones just for you.

 

 

and something really special…! (Please don’t deny us the satisfaction of seeing you in this tuxedo belt attending your best friend’s wedding)

They have some pretty nice gift ideas too

 

Three Books Every Guy Should Have

1. Be the Guy with the Really Cool Random Facts

You Might be a Zombie and Other Bad News by the Editors of Cracked.com

A taster of what’s inside:

* A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.
* The FDA wouldn’t let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt.
* Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you.
* The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD.
* Think you’re going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions10 seconds before you even know what they are.

2. Have a Manly Coffee Table Book

Beer: A Genuine Collection of Cans by Dan Becker

Art + history. Not that fun. Beer, on the other hand, is very fun.

3. The Book that You Literally Cannot Tear Your Eyes Away From

The Big Butt Book is a perve’s paradise explores this perennial fascination with female booty—from small and taut to large and sumptuous—in the fourth installment of Dian Hanson‘s critically acclaimed body parts series. Over 400 photos from 1900 to the present day.

 

Insert Token Manly Tech-related Articles Here

I found a piece of web history as I was searching for some inspiration on website design the other day. P.S. You may or may not be aware that I am in the process of a re-design on MessyNessyChic (to be a generally more awesome site than it already is). If I have succeeded in attracting a male reader today, you will be pleased to that know I am making a huge effort not to include any shades of pink in the design (but I’m not promising anything). Stay tuned for details on the re-launch and in the mean time, check out these screen shots of how some of the most well-known websites used to look.

How Our Most Visited Sites Used to Look…

Google launched in 1996 – looking pretty geeky…

myspace launched in 2003… and things got progressively worse from there.

Facebook launched in 2004 – do you suppose that could be Zuckerberg’s face in the top left?

YouTube launched 2005 – no wonder I didn’t check in until 2009.

Wikipedia launched in 2001 – Avert your eyes…

 

 

Apple lauched in 1987, screen shot from 1996 – no iPads here.

Twitter 2006 – Twitter has been around for five years??

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The Most Outrageous Game of 2011 (Token Video Game Suggestion)

Another fact about me that you might not be aware of and that I think helps me identify with boys, is my unquenchable thirst for anything zombie-related. I prefer to go with movies or hypothetical thought processes about where I would hide should a zombie apocalypse occur, however, I’ve just come across a pretty eye-opening trailer for a zombie video game. Even though I could never quite advance past the treacherous obstacle that is Mario Cart, I would watch any guy play this for hours, popcorn in hand. Behold the outrageous and controversial trailer that is Dead Island, available on PC, Xbox 360 and PS3 later in 2011.

I really hope I’m not entirely eradicating my female followers in one clean swoop.

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and before you go…

What Would Happen if Men Were to Write for Women’s Editorial

Thanks for reading to the end!

(Image provided by some really cool graphic designers as I did not have time to try to my own but thought it rounded off the post nicely– next time)

Check out some of my other articles for dudes!

Five Fashion Don’ts for Dudes

How Metrosexual is Too Metrosexual?

Things that Make Men Do a Double Take

Why We Should Feel Sorry for Male Models

Have a good weekend readers 🙂

Good Guys vs. Bad Boys: The Gift Guide

Christmas Gift Ideas for Under 100 Bucks

I‘m basing my men’s gift guide on that age old dilemma that girls face when it comes to boys; good guys vs. bad boys. While the ideal guy is probably a bit of both, these two stereotypes make deciding on his Christmas gift just that little bit easier!

What kind of man are you buying for…?

He likes to wear his trousers around his waist, not around his ass…

American Apparel Belts from £27 ( a staple in any preppy’s closet)

He reads The Economist while sipping on espresso…

Stainless steel, mirror polished and heat resistant glass Mocha Cups by Alessi, £65

His dinner jacket is simply incomplete without one…

Paisley Pocket Square by Ralph Lauren, available instore from £70

He sticks to the classics…

Colonia Eau de Cologne, Shower Gel, Shaving Cream Gift Set by Acqua di Parma, £72 from Space NK

He takes after his father…

Paul Smith Shoe Tree, £60

Quality is top priority

Hand-crafted Slim Card Holder, £85 by Bill Amberg

He doesn’t sit down for breakfast in his underwear…

Cotton Terry Kimono Robe, £75 by Ralph Lauren

He has an inner-geek…

Seletti Office Golf Set, £39 from the Conran Shop

 

His kicks are just about the only truly clean things in his closet…

Paul Smith Leather Trainers, £100

He’s just a bit rock’n’roll…

Vintage Vinyl Coasters – LEARN HOW TO MAKE THEM HERE

He can be a bit of a moody boy…

Seletti Leather Punchbag, £80 from the Conran Shop

He can’t sit still for very long…

Renewal Metal Frame Military Rucksack, £17.99 Urban Outfitters

Born to be wild…

Nannini Italian Goggles, 87 Euros

He’s a sucker for vintage automobiles..

Car Doormat, £16 from Urban Outfitters

For acting like he’s too cool for Christmas… Sometimes, he needs to be taught a lesson…

Suprising Mug, £8 from Urban Outfitters

He needs hang-over food… NOW

2 in 1 Toaster & Egg Cooker around £50